|Time With Tamika|
Relationships & Life
Painted by Nikki Noble
What I am grateful for? Breath.
What makes me smile? Love.
What gives me life? Feeling the joys of the world.
What pains me? The dissatisfaction of everyone.
What do I see? The light.
I see YOU
What do I want you to be? Your best.
What frightens me? Not doing enough.
What do I appreciate? Nature, water, trees, good and bad. The twists and turns of life.
What do I hate? I hate nothing.
What do I wish for? For everyone to be free of illusions. To ignore distractions. To live their truth. To be one with what is... To be...
What do I want more than anything??? For you to...???? It has already been done.
So I literally just followed my feelings. Sitting here, whatever questions came to mind I wrote, and whatever was the first thought as my response, I wrote that too.
It is what it is...:)
Death. What a word? It has such a negative connotation. People, animals, and plants die, really all living things have an end date. Why does that frighten us so much?? It is always the fear of the unknown that inhibits us from being and playing the game of life appropriately. I've had to experience the death of a loved one more often than I would like to. When my father died, something struck me after I cried endless hours alone in the darkness. I asked why, so many times I cannot even think of a an actual number. I was so sad inside. The sadness carried such a void, a real feeling of forget it all! Forget this life! Forget this world! Somehow with the grace of God, and with the spurts of energy I was given to wipe my tears and hide my sadness I kept going; I lived. The struggle of acceptance was a daily happening. Every moment, I just wanted it all to end. I wanted things to be different, but again, somehow I pushed forth. I cried, I yelled, I sat, I walked, I talked, I hid, I left myself, in order to cope. The truth is I did not begin to cope until I truly thought of what had happened. My dad was no longer here. All the dreams, and visions I had of him being in my life in the future were no more. So definite. So painful. I felt a spark, and suddenly I began to understand his soul, the light of his energy could guide me, and it has. When I need strength he is there. Such a blessing. I miss him like no other. He is and was my daddy, no matter what. He contributed to me being the person I am today. The love we share is gracious, pure, and unconditional. I love you Dad! Every moment I live, I grasp the fact that your soul has opened doors for me and thrust me into the realization that pain is all the same. That peering into the eyes of another is not only having the ability to see another, but you are seeing yourself. Your death taught me to feel, and to be the best that I can be. I love YOU!!!! I miss you!!!
Listen here, there is a serious epidemic of misunderstandings, miscommunications, lies, facades, and confusion. See what humans are accustomed to is protecting. Protecting themselves from pain, and only searching for pleasure, love, and approval, and most times it is all from the wrong people or things. Obviously things cannot provide what it is the human spirit desperately needs and survives with, but the confusion and misunderstandings stem from an everlasting attempt to gather "things" that momentarily fulfill the sensation of satisfaction. Then what? Unhappiness occurs. A feeling of being unsettled, lost, or an incredible amount of questions arise out of wonder. Wondering what is in store? What should I do? Where should I be? And with whom? Confusion is nothing more than an emotion caused by not wanting to make a decision, although, you truly do know the right answer. Confusion plies its hands into lives when your question has been answered, but it calls for a change, and you resist. Change is not an easy task, it is a transition to be better, and do better.
The lying to oneself about your own heart, and feelings is such a discouragement to yourself. Never sitting and being with yourself is killing oneself slowly, and literally causes such a disconnection to what matters. If I had a penny for every time someone called someone a friend that seriously did not even come close to the definition of a friend, or when someone says I love you when they really do not mean it. Forget pennies, how about a grain of dirt for every time I notice people being concerned with something that does not matter at all to the essence of who they are. Whether it be buying a new car, focusing on the appearance of another, speaking about their homes, and items that they have obtained over the years because of the financial status they obtained, I could literally make my own piece of land and use the pennies to pay for a new home. The point is, none of it is essential to your well being. Blessings they are, but treat them as such. My grandmother always tells me, it is hard for a rich man to go to heaven, not impossible, but hard. When you are rich you focus on the surface. The depths of anything is what matters; what cannot be seen, but felt. Being on both sides of the spectrum of life and understanding has helped me to understand the aspect of living humbly.
My greatest wish is for everyone to be honest with themselves about everything. How many real friends do you have? The others that are not, why are they in your life? What matters to you? What makes you truly happy, and are you happy now? Like for real?? If you were stuck on this planet and could only choose three people to be with, who would they be? And would those three people choose you as well? Just a thought, and when it is all said and done, misunderstandings, miscommunication, lies, facades, and confusion are present because the light of truth is not being released in its entirety. What a thought??!!
Stop questioning yourself so much, and certainly questioning the reasons why others do what they do will only lead you down a dark pathway. We can only control our own actions, and hope others act in relation to the way you act, not in how they perceive things to be. We have all been conditioned by our lifes happenings causing us to have deeply rooted beliefs about ourselves, and those around us. It is those beliefs that most times hold us back from the best that is within us. We cannot take things personally when people react to things that we have said, or who we are, the fact is almost 100% of the time it has nothing to do with you, but more to do with them.
I remember when my father died, I felt like I had so much left to say to him, but I could no longer release that to him face to face considering the unfortunate circumstances; he was no longer with me in the physical form. I made a promise to myself from that day forward to always speak what I feel no matter what, to whomever. Sometimes what needs to be said is not easy, nor is it exciting to be the one to have to say it, but it needs to be said. Not just for you, but for the other person as well. We hold so much back out of fear, and because it seems easier to hold back, but let me tell you, the truth really does set you free. It changes lives, it motivates, and moves you in the right direction. Suppressing your voice is like killing pieces of yourself everyday. It simply is not worth it.
On that note...I have some things to go release to some folks, sooooo I'm opening up the forum for you to do the same :)
It is time, and I know it will all be ok.
With love and great wishes!!
I know I'm not the only one that thinks about what if?? What if I did not meet that person? What if I went the other route? What if I simply just did not care?? The biggest what if for me, what if I died today?? What would happen? Would people care?? I think everyone wants to know they are needed and have a purpose to fulfill. We all want to feel that the world would be a different place without our physical presence, right?? In thinking about that last what if question, you have to think about the memories you have left behind, and the legacy of your name. My soul warrants the timing of generating favorable memories to the heart. I allow the universe to be one with me so I can achieve the growth I need. It is not easy. Most times to love, may mean to be ignored. To give, may mean you will not reap the rewards immediately. To ask questions, you get the answers, but maybe not the way you expected them to come. Emotionally I am breaking down because I can feel the emotions of so many others. I inhibit the pain of those I see, and those I love. I can see what most would probably not like for me to see. The pain of seeing, but to not be seen is probably the deepest pain one can ever experience. As I walk, breathe, and grow in this world, and realm of life, the only memory and destiny I hope to leave behind is to have acknowledged the depths and presence of those I have come in contact with. At the end, when it is all said and done, people want to know they are cared for. I promise with every fiber of my being, with every breath I take, those I have been blessed to be amongst have made more of an impression on me than I did them, and more than anything else, I remember, love and acknowledge their presence.
Thank you to YOU!!
I figured I better share while I am in the mood to, this type of mood does not happen very often. I created a video awhile back to have a visual representation of what The Oprah Winfrey Show has meant to me. It is more than most could understand, but it is the truth. In the meantime....watch the video to get a greater understanding and please let me know what you think,
I've always believed humans have a tendency to easily judge others, and point out their flaws, but to recognize the flaws in themselves, and to dig deep into ones own grief, truth, and personal issues is an aspect that is perfectly avoided. Bravely, Oprah's Lifeclass on OWN gives viewers a short, but well worth it, one hour window to allow themselves to peer into the windows of what may not be seen, but what is felt instead. It is for those that have always had questions, the desire to be better, and the courage to be confronted with the truth to heal. Oprah's Lifeclass gives viewers the opportunity to see past the surface. It gives people permission to feel, rather than rely purely on visuals. Presented to the audience by Ms. Winfrey in a relatable manner, lessons like, 'Forgiveness,' 'You are responsible for your OWN life,'and 'Find your calling,' are teachings that can possibly thrust anyone into the life they are meant to live; if they are able to get it.
After the broadcast of Lifeclass on The Oprah Winfrey Network there is a live webcast of Oprah's Lifeclass available on oprah.com, and Facebook, with special guests; one being the enlightened teacher, Iyanla Vanzant. On Friday, while lounging on the couch in my most comfortable black sweats, a red T-shirt, and my laptop companion, I watched Oprah's live Lifeclass webcast. Unexpectedly, I had my own a-ha moment. As I heard a woman speaking of her less than ideal relationship with her father, Iyanla summed up the woman's struggle by stating that you cannot change the past, but being able to acknowledge the fact that God has a plan for you; maybe the type of relationship you have with your father is exactly what is needed in order for you to be the person you are meant to be. That struck me. Immediately I clicked on the Want to Skype with Oprah now? link. My own relationship with my father flashed before me. I recognized the relation, and wanted to share it. When my father passed, something within me shifted. I began to live through his death. Before, I was a robotic individual with no purpose, no drive. That indeed was God's plan. At the time it made no sense to me. I fought the purpose, and relished in the pain for a while, only to then realize the plan was for me to reconnect to myself, and to others. My purpose was determined. I am present to be the vessel of connection.
Oprah's Lifeclass can be seen Monday-Friday at 8/7c on OWN. It can change your life, if you are willing.
In the meantime watch Friday's live webcast
Author: Tamika Carlton
I am simply motivated, focused and always inspired!
Follow me on Twitter @OTMag